My Kids Were Scared Of Me
Download MP3His kids were scared of him. His wife was sleeping in another room. And no matter what he tried, he couldn't stop.
Former RAAF airfield defence guard Dan Baldry served six years in the Air Force and deployed to Afghanistan in 2012. He was trained to switch on controlled anger in an instant, but nobody taught him how to switch it off. What followed was nearly a decade of FIFO escape, alcohol, drugs, and a pornography addiction he now calls "the biggest soul killer."
In this deeply honest episode, Dan and his wife Ruia sit down together to tell the whole story, from both sides. Ruia shares what it was like to live on high alert, why trauma can feel like safety, and the day she found the note. Dan opens up about PTSD, losing control, the counsellor whose advice shocked them both, and the night he poured a six-pack in the bin and everything began to change.
Today, they help veterans, first responders and their spouses rebuild their lives through The Battle Initiative, because, as Dan says, you were never called to fight alone.
How do you create the life you want and leave a legacy you're proud of?
CHAPTERS
00:00 "My kids feared me"
01:00 Meet Dan & Ruia – The Battle Initiative
03:40 Why Dan joined the Air Force
07:15 Afghanistan & Typhoon Haiyan
07:50 Trained for controlled anger
10:15 Emotionless: mental health stigma in the ADF
12:40 Coming home to kids who were afraid
13:40 Walking on eggshells – the spouse's side
17:10 Red flags and doubts on the wedding day
18:30 Why trauma can feel like safety
23:30 What Afghanistan did to him
27:20 Manus Island and the downward spiral
32:30 "I had no self-control"
36:00 The addiction nobody talks about
43:40 The counsellor's shocking advice
46:15 Open Arms and the diagnosis
48:30 The note
50:40 Hospital, a newborn and no time to heal
53:00 "We can't walk this journey together anymore"
54:30 The six-pack in the bin
56:40 The dream that changed everything
1:01:00 Building The Battle Initiative
1:06:00 Supporting spouses and female veterans
1:07:50 Renewed vows and freedom
1:11:50 Where to get help
1:13:10 Creating the life you want & leaving a legacy
1:15:50 "You were never called to fight alone"
⚠️ Content note: This episode discusses suicide, domestic violence, addiction and mental health. Please listen with care.
GET SUPPORT
The Battle Initiative: https://thebattleinitiative.com
Open Arms – Veterans & Families Counselling: 1800 011 046 (24/7)
Lifeline Australia: 13 11 14 (24/7)
In immediate danger, call 000.
Former RAAF airfield defence guard Dan Baldry served six years in the Air Force and deployed to Afghanistan in 2012. He was trained to switch on controlled anger in an instant, but nobody taught him how to switch it off. What followed was nearly a decade of FIFO escape, alcohol, drugs, and a pornography addiction he now calls "the biggest soul killer."
In this deeply honest episode, Dan and his wife Ruia sit down together to tell the whole story, from both sides. Ruia shares what it was like to live on high alert, why trauma can feel like safety, and the day she found the note. Dan opens up about PTSD, losing control, the counsellor whose advice shocked them both, and the night he poured a six-pack in the bin and everything began to change.
Today, they help veterans, first responders and their spouses rebuild their lives through The Battle Initiative, because, as Dan says, you were never called to fight alone.
How do you create the life you want and leave a legacy you're proud of?
CHAPTERS
00:00 "My kids feared me"
01:00 Meet Dan & Ruia – The Battle Initiative
03:40 Why Dan joined the Air Force
07:15 Afghanistan & Typhoon Haiyan
07:50 Trained for controlled anger
10:15 Emotionless: mental health stigma in the ADF
12:40 Coming home to kids who were afraid
13:40 Walking on eggshells – the spouse's side
17:10 Red flags and doubts on the wedding day
18:30 Why trauma can feel like safety
23:30 What Afghanistan did to him
27:20 Manus Island and the downward spiral
32:30 "I had no self-control"
36:00 The addiction nobody talks about
43:40 The counsellor's shocking advice
46:15 Open Arms and the diagnosis
48:30 The note
50:40 Hospital, a newborn and no time to heal
53:00 "We can't walk this journey together anymore"
54:30 The six-pack in the bin
56:40 The dream that changed everything
1:01:00 Building The Battle Initiative
1:06:00 Supporting spouses and female veterans
1:07:50 Renewed vows and freedom
1:11:50 Where to get help
1:13:10 Creating the life you want & leaving a legacy
1:15:50 "You were never called to fight alone"
⚠️ Content note: This episode discusses suicide, domestic violence, addiction and mental health. Please listen with care.
GET SUPPORT
The Battle Initiative: https://thebattleinitiative.com
Open Arms – Veterans & Families Counselling: 1800 011 046 (24/7)
Lifeline Australia: 13 11 14 (24/7)
In immediate danger, call 000.
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