Tomorrow is Not Today

Tint Podcast_Marianna (Audio)
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[00:00:00] Recently broke up with my boyfriend and I thought, what a great opportunity to now, you know, discover, uh, the world. But, and then I found a, a boyfriend, an Australian boyfriend. They say there was a great recipe to fast track your English learning. I'm like, all right, great. Uh, I mean for that. So, uh, I was about to sign the divorce papers, you know, I'm like, this is it.

So I had to ask myself like, well. My internal world was crumbling. I was dying. I was so angry at the world. I was. So what was it that triggered you to stop and think about why am I not happy? So for me it was. I believe every one of us has created for a reason here to input into other people's lives what we've learned, how we've grown.

Everybody is here for that reason.

How did you start [00:01:00] making a difference? I think one secret that I'm gonna share here is.

Mariano, welcome to the Tomorrow's Not Today podcast. I'm so excited to have you in here. Oh, thanks for having me. It's a pleasure to be in here. It's been a long time coming, so thanks for having me here again. It has been a long time coming. Um, we met probably seven, eight months ago, I think it was initially.

Yeah. Yep. Yeah, and you could tell the first time we met, I could just tell you had a lot to offer. Um, didn't get a lot out of you at that stage, but the more I've got to know you and seen a lot of you on social media and some of the work that you're doing, it's like, yeah, you have to be on the podcast 'cause you've got a lot to offer people.

Oh, thank you. Thank you. I cannot wait. So, um, we are gonna get into this in a big way, uh, but first of all. Can you tell us, tell everyone a little bit about who you are, how you help people at the moment? Sure. Yes. Uh, my name is Mariana [00:02:00] Leonard, and I say that I am a, a feminine leadership mentor. I really support women to step into who they are in the most, you know, authentic way, so they can really step into leadership in their life, in their relationships, in their business, and create a bigger impact in whatever way the feels in alignment for them.

I love that so much, and I think you are uniquely qualified to be able to do this, and we are gonna get into that and get into your story. One of the thing, one of the reasons I wanted you in here is because one of the big goals of this podcast is to help people realize no matter who they are. Where they're from, what they've done, who they are now, what they're doing now, you can make a difference.

You can leave the world in a better place and become a better person. Uh, and that's one of the critical things, and you've got a lot to offer in this way. So obviously there's a little bit of an accent there. Tell us, [00:03:00] where are you from? Yes. So I do a lot of talks on that as well because I do feel that what you say, everybody has a story to share.

So my accent, um, is I'm from Brazil and this month, April, right now it's been 19 years since I have arrived in Australia. Wow. Um, which is amazing just to think about this journey. So I was born in Brazil and I left my law career and decided to. You know, explore the world, uh, not to live just for some time and, you know, learn a different language.

Uh, so I came to Australia and here I am 19 years later, you know, living my best life and yeah, really walk in the, the path that is my purpose in this lifetime. Love that, love that. It seems a lot of people, especially Brazilians, seem to come to Australia, just go over, learn a bit of language and. Stuck.

You're [00:04:00] here. Yeah. You love it. Yeah. So that's really cool. So you are obviously 19 years. Um, congratulations on that. That's awesome. Uh, I love it when we bring in fantastic people like you, which is gold. But I know it wasn't always like that. Yes, definitely not. Tell me what brought you to Australia in the first place.

Mm, yeah, that's a, a very deep and profound part of my journey for sure. And I. I grew up in a beautiful family. I was the only girl around a lot of boys, two siblings plus and other five cousins, and I. Learn how to be very tough a tomboy, play outside fishing, soccer, all the things. But on the same side, I was a people pleaser and I became to, you know, become a yes girl and always, um, you know, following the boys and allowing them to lead and doing what they would suggest me, what, you know, play with whatever day you wanted to play.

And that was the [00:05:00] same inside of my house because I. Like most of us didn't grow up with parents and they were doing the best they could at the time. We all know that, but you know, they didn't encourage me to trust myself, to trust them. My decisions, they were right for me, so I wanted to be a psychologist.

Growing up, I always been obsessed with people and supporting others. However, my father suggested me that I should study law, that I should become a lawyer. And of course I was only 16 going into university so young. I certainly believed on him, you know, that he would know what, what's best for me. So I did law, had the best time studying, you know, going to university, lived by myself, uh, party a lot, and, you know, had a really great time.

So when I started to work as a lawyer, I. At that moment, uh, working in criminal law in a office from nine to five, reading horrible cases of [00:06:00] tragedy, tragedy, I realized that that could not be me. I, you know, I felt my body, my soul, every bit of myself screaming out loud to get out of that. Hmm. So in that moment, I started to see my options, you know, and, uh, everything was in alignment for me.

Before I took that career really serious. I had recently broke up with my boyfriend and I thought, what a great opportunity to now, you know, discover, uh, the world. So. That's what I did. Me and my younger brother, we decided to travel and come to Australia, coming here, um, arriving this incredible place. I remember the first time that I, you know, when I arrived in Kang and I could, I can still remember this mail, you know, it was, I think it was Easter weekend and it was so quiet.

Um, everything felt so fresh. Until I think the, the realization [00:07:00] of my, the decision that I made really hit me when I realized that everywhere I went, I couldn't express myself because I didn't speak a word of English. Oh, wow. And quickly I learned how to say, sorry. I don't speak English. Right. I mean, they, they were like, people would come to me.

I'm like, sorry, like, you know, sorry, I don't speak English, because I was freaking out every time I had to go and ask for something and people would have a conversation with me and. It was very, very difficult. Way more than I thought it would be. Um, so I studied for two and a half years and I, you know, could barely have a conversation because all my teachers, they would speak English, you know, as they teaching us.

So it made it extra hard. We actually learned the language. Um. So that was my path, just learning how to express myself again, knowing who I was in a different country, super young. I didn't know anyone apart from, from my brother. Um, but, and then I found a, a boyfriend, an Australian boyfriend. They say there was a great [00:08:00] recipe to fast track your English learning.

I'm like, all right, great. Uh, I'm in for that. So, um, I did it and then I found myself three months later pregnant. And that was when I was making a decision to go back, like, do I go back now or do I, you know, or do I go into an, you know, do another Visa application and I was pregnant? I'm like, wow. Like, it was a really difficult moment in my life because I knew that I didn't love that person.

You know, even though he was a great man at the time, um, I knew that there was not, that would not be it for my life. Uh. However, I come from a very Christian family and you know, we have very strong values about pregnancy. And at this moment, you know, I am so, so grateful for my family and for supporting me through that journey of making a decision.

Uh, however, a month later we broke, uh, a month later, my son was born, we split up. You know, the [00:09:00] relationship went in a completely different direction. Um, he was Australian and I think for him, his. Motto of, um, being a partner was okay to drink and go out and, you know. Yeah. Wow. And, and he turned out to be a, a very different person than the one that I met in the first place.

Mm-hmm. So, thank God that I was, you know, I was, uh, uh, I was a lawyer back home, so I knew I had some rights and I quickly made a decision to move apart from him. Um, actually he left and I was left in the house and. I believe that divine is always orchestrating, you know, our, for our highest purpose and always trying to pour into our vessel what's best for us.

Um, even when we can't see. Yeah. Yeah. And especially when we can't see. Mm-hmm. In fact, um. And then three months later I met my husband, who was my next door neighbor. Um, and [00:10:00] we got married very quickly. And on the honeymoon, I felt pregnant of my daughter. They always live so soon. I had this amazing family, you know, two beautiful kids, husband, everything else.

Um, and I could not believe that just, you know, very much a year and a half later I was crying, you know, like being, you know. All sort of things being, you know, put in my way that I didn't know how to deal with. And then, you know, Summa had, uh, two children in a, in a beautiful husband. Uh, we had a business, we had a martial arts academy, and life started to move really fast.

And I got to this point where I. I had a lot of the things that you're supposed to be grateful for. You know, I had a beautiful family. I had two beautiful healthy children. I had a business. We actually had, you know, three businesses at the time and. Even though everything else looked so great, I was healthy.

I was competing juujitsu, I, I [00:11:00] had a, you know, a straining for Muay Thai fights. I was really fit. Uh, my internal world was crumbling. I was dying. I was so angry at the world. I was so angry at everybody around me. I was so unhappy. You know, I was diagnosed, um, with depression, having panic attacks and. I couldn't, I couldn't really understand why, because you know, if you look at my life, I should be happy.

I should be grateful. And then now, only now looking back and connecting the dots, I really understand that. Um, there was, you know, teaching me and guiding me on how to find my purpose. You know, it took me on this healing journey of learning. You know, going through myself, different healing modalities, plant medicine, um, you know, mindset work, Tony Robbins, all kind of things to not only find myself again, but also to [00:12:00] find what I'm here to do and the impact that I'm here to have in the world.

So for you that depression, you went through that internal sadness, was a misalignment of who you were compared to what you should be doing a hundred percent. A hundred percent. I feel that every time that we are not in alignment with our true purpose and with who we truly are, we feel our body will show.

Our life will show in some way or form. And what I see a lot right now, it's a lot. And a lot like millions of women going through that. Mm-hmm. But we always reach out for the medication, for the wine, for, you know, the, the online shopping for so many of, uh, outlets in, instead of actually looking within and finding the, the reason why.

Why are we doing this? Why are we feeling this way? I have so many questions rocking around in my head right now. It's like, which one do, which way do we go [00:13:00] here? That's, I love what you just said there, and I hope people picked up on that in a big, big way. 'cause that is so critically important. So it sounds like when you were a lawyer mm-hmm.

Back in Brazil, you had this same sort of sense about you. Yes. And then you came to Australia. Um, bit of a rough, rocky road to start with, but then it all got in a really good place and you look like, Hey, you must be the happiest person on the planet. Exactly. Everything's working well. Beautiful husband, beautiful family businesses, successful fit, everything's happening, but it wasn't.

Mm-hmm. How did you, obviously there's something going on in the inside. What was it that triggered you to stop and think about why am I not happy? Mm, great question. So for me, it was self-awareness first. Mm-hmm. You know, I had to come to the [00:14:00] place of auditing my life, really looking into my life and noticing that, you know, my family was good, my husband was doing his thing, you know.

Our business was working. The only common thing was myself in, in everything else that was happening. And I realized that I had so much anger towards my husband because he didn't support me. But I was never open for the support. I never asked for the support. Mm. I wanted him to, you know. Lead in a certain way, but I never let it go of control.

I needed to control everything. I needed to have, you know, all the answers for everything. You know, I wanted to, um. You know, be healthier and train, but I didn't take time to look into my emotional body and what was going on. So I was, yes, looking feet from the outside, but my gut was suffering, you know, my, my sleep was suffering.

So there was so many reasons and signs there that I, I knew, like I, I'm [00:15:00] not, okay. So, uh, take me back a little bit there. You said that you wanted your husband to lead, but you wouldn't let him have control. Is there something in there that maybe you didn't sort of, he may not have understood what he was supposed to do?

Maybe, was there a communication of, this is what I need? Did you, would you have known how to communicate that anyway? Mm. Well, I do now. I didn't know then, right? I didn't know how to communicate. Yeah. Because what I find a lot with women, and that was me, is that we do everything because we know how to do it and we can do it.

So we just keep doing it. Mm-hmm. And. The men, they, they actually, they want to help. They are there to support, but they don't know how. Because we got so used to in doing the things that it's easier for us to do it than explain to them what we need. And in fact, just that act of explaining [00:16:00] what we need is very vulnerable.

Mm. So we. Bypass that. And what happens, we create resentment. We don't, you know, we don't wanna have sex anymore. We become angry. We do the things, but we do with, you know, that passive aggression kind of thing. And that con in a compound way, of course, it's not gonna lead to a good place. Yeah. So that's where I was, you know, my, my marriage was about to, uh, I was about to sign the divorce papers, you know, I'm like, this is it.

So I had to ask myself like, well. If I leave this marriage, is that the solution or is the solution doing the work myself and finding, you know, what, what actually is happening? And you know, because I knew that if I left my husband, I would find someone else. Someone else, and I would be the same person in that relationship.

Mm-hmm. That's, thank you for going there. I know that that was really deep and that's a, that's a big thing, but I think that's a message mm-hmm. That a lot of people internalize. [00:17:00] And either one don't want to face or two dunno how to express it or say it anyway in the first place. Mm-hmm. I wanna take you back a little bit and see if you can put these two together.

Yes. Because I'm curious, growing up there was you two brothers and five cousins. Yes. And they're all boys. Mm-hmm. So you had to, you got to a point where it's just whatever they wanna do, let's just run along with that and I'm gonna toughen up and I'm gonna be one of them. You go, you grow up a little bit.

You go to uni, you become a lawyer, which obviously you have to be pretty tough to do that. Mm-hmm. Especially a criminal lawyer. So that obviously would change you a little bit from the, I'm just gonna follow through to, you would have to be toughen up to be a leader, but I guess being amongst those boys would've toughened you up in some ways as well.

But then you go down further where you are married and it's like, I've got this, I'm in control here. Is there a [00:18:00] progression? Is there something that you could relate back to as to how that progression worked? Mm, great question. I believe deeply that everything comes from childhood. Yeah. And I feel that my need for controlling was a safe mechanism that I was playing at the time so I could feel safe.

And even again, having, you know, growing up around so many. You know, Mayo Energy and having a father who was very. A provider and someone that had strong ideas about what was best for me and for the family. Um, you know, that was a controlling as well, so I learned very early that controlling its equal safety.

So I learned how to control in, in my life. I had, I had to know what, what was happening. I had to know where I was going. And so when. I started to break down. Literally, I was out of control. You know, the things in my life, [00:19:00] the pillows that I had, which I held onto control, they were falling apart. It's like they were built on sand and they were melting away, and I was.

Freaking out. You know, I was angry. I couldn't understand why. So I feel that everything comes through this place of I need to feel safe here. And you know, that's what most women and and humans, we don't know. So we keep on pushing and forcing and forcing and forcing and, you know, and be, be out of desperation that we don't know any other way.

So it really takes a lot of self-awareness to see, you know. What is the game? Am I playing the game or is the game playing? Make, mm What were the things you were trying to grasp hold of to keep control finance? Right. So I, the feeling was, um, if I stop, everything will crumble. Even though we had money in the bank, even though, you know, we had [00:20:00] businesses, even though I knew that things were coming in, I still felt that if I stopped.

Things would crumble. I had to be in control. I have to know everything. I had to have the certain amount in the bank, like, you know, everything that was controlling about my body and my health. Right. I had to control how much I trained and I had to be in a certain way and I had to do the certain things.

Uh, and I, I was having eating disorder. I, I had eating disorder at that time and no one knew about it. Mm-hmm. Right? So I would train like crazy and fight and, um, hours a day. And I would go at night and binge eating right, and that was a, a way of punishing punishment. But also controlling. Yeah, controlling my relationship.

So I was the one controlling that's what we're gonna do. You know, that's how it is. That's what, you know, making all the decisions. Where my husband, of course, had no place to lead, you know? And for him to avoid any more disagreement, he like, all right, just do [00:21:00] it your way, right? Mm-hmm. So the people started to sort of give up around you because you don't leave space for anybody else to actually even give you feedback.

So there would've been that time, obviously, you started to think about all of this and what was happening and what was going on, but getting to that point of actually being able to go, I can't do this. I can't control everything. I can't do everything and be everything that I think I need to be. How did you get to a point where you could actually start letting go a little bit mm-hmm.

Of things? Because that's not an easy thing to do. It's not, no. For me, to be honest, it got to a point where I felt that I was having panic attacks and I was having, you know, depression and I started taking, uh, medication for depression. I realized that I either look into [00:22:00] this. Or I will, I don't know what's gonna happen for me.

And I had little kids, so I'm like, I must, it's not a choice, I must. So that was one of the first reasons. And the other one for me, how I was able to start the healing process was accept support, asking for. So I started doing therapy. I start asking for energy, kind of energy healing, reiki access bars. I, I hire a mentor later, you know, a few months later.

So just allowing the support in allowing to people to see me in places of vulner being vulnerable and to. Like supporting me in showing me strategies and tools on where I could better myself. That's a very hard thing to get there. Mm. Like a surrender and a vulnerability that, 'cause you've got the walls up pretty strong steel ones by the sounds of things and to [00:23:00] sort of let them down a little bit become vulnerable.

It's, it's not easy. What, what gave you the strength? Obviously your kids. My kids. Yeah. It's obviously a major thing. Mm-hmm. Was there anything else? I feel there was literally, you know, myself not being able to walk at times, paralyzed with, you know, panic attacks. Wow. Uh, having panic attacks with my kids in the car, you know, and then looking at my kids and I know that they, they, they were not getting the best version of me, you know?

I was sad, I was angry. Mm. Um, you know, seeing my marriage coming to a breakup. My husband got to a point where he's like, I just can't do this anymore. Like I, I, you know, I'm out and I'm like, wow, this is actually, this is serious. So I saw so much all corners of my life. They were just falling apart, you know?

And I wish that I didn't have to get to the point where my nervous system was completely, you [00:24:00] know, dysregulated. My gut was suffering everything. Literally everything, um, that I could have picked up a little bit before that, right. That I needed. I didn't need to get to that point. And that's why I'm so passionate about what I do right now.

Mm. Which is to bring women to the place of awareness way before, hopefully when they get to this point. So you had sort of two opposite things going on. You had your kids, which is a strong motivator. I need to be there for them. And then you had the, I need to get out of here, sort of thing going on. Both of those sort of fear, I guess one, a love for your kids, but also a fear of what was gonna happen if you didn't make a change.

Exactly. How do you help other women now get to that point where they can see these things and make those big Whys a priority in life? Mm. So I know that we are always either moving away from from [00:25:00] pain or we moving towards pleasure. Yeah, at that time I was moving away from pain. I am like, this is too painful.

I must get away from this. And there was my, my exit time, you know, and was, thank God, the best thing that ever happened to me because it led me to where I am today. Mm. So I work with a lot of women. Sorry, I'm gonna go back. Say that again. What part? That part about the best thing that happened to you. Yeah.

I can now connecting everything that has happened to me. I know that that was a gift and that was the best thing that ever happened to me because it let me, not only to find myself, but find my purpose in this lifetime. That's what I want people to hear. Yeah. 'cause most people, we've all got a story, like you said at the beginning.

Exactly. We've all got stuff that's happening, and most of us look at it the wrong way. We look at it as, no, this is killing me. It's, it's doing the wrong thing to me. I can't get back from this. That's exactly what this podcast is about. You [00:26:00] take that, turn it around, and make your life into something where you're helping other people and it's exactly what you've done.

Um, so sorry. Keep going. That's my interruption is done now. I love it. I love your share. Uh, so. Just on that as well. I now with my maturity, you know, very 43, very different than that, you know, 30 years old that I was back then. Um, I now understand that even through the challenges time, which I'm still going through now, you know, we, we all are.

We all do because we are, we are humans and we are always evolving. Uh, and you know, when I do speaking and speaking stages and, you know, podcasts, people always ask me like. How is now your life? You know, have you been able to get to a place? I'm like, no. Mm-hmm. You know, you're always on the bottom of the next mountain.

Yes. And you know, and I like that. I like to keep myself humble enough, you know? I like to be a student. I like to say I'm still learning. Yeah. Because [00:27:00] I understand that even through the, the. The cloudy, the foggy, the, the hardships and the challenges. I know that there is a divine order orchestrating myself to my, to my next self.

Mm. Yeah. And I think when we can have the, the certainty, the faith, that no matter what's happening, it's happening for your highest good. Yes, we can walk with that with. Knowing that we, we are being held through that. And I know, and I know that when, if you told me that when I was there, I, I would say no bullshit.

Yeah. I would say totally. Oh, there we go. Another, totally another, you know, I would, uh, probably my mom would tell me these kind of things and I'm like, oh, just rolling my eyes. Yeah. But it's so true. Yeah. You know, and I really, I really wish that, um, I could then understand this concept. It's one of those things about when you're going through something, you think it's gonna kill you.

Yes. The good news is that you know you're alive. Because it hasn't yet. Yes. So just keep going. It [00:28:00] is gonna turn around. It is gonna get better if you used it the right way. Yes, yes. I, I do, I talk a lot about that as well. Um, you know, not, not dying and actually, you know, everything's just making you stronger and stronger and it's sharpening, sharpening you to.

Whatever your gift is in this lifetime. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. You with, when you're working with, obviously you work mostly with women, and this applies to men and women obviously, of course, but your focus is both. How do you get them to a point? Because I, I really want people to hear this, that a lot of people that I talk to and I work with, they feel they're in this place where it's too late for me or I can't change this, or it's too difficult, or I've got these.

Responsibility so I can't make a difference or whatever it is. We've all got our excuses and I know that might sound harsh sometimes to call 'em ex excuses, but the reality is if we pull back and think about it long enough, um, they are [00:29:00] now, they might be ridiculously good, very real excuses, but they're still excuses.

Yeah. How do you get people to go beyond that, into I'm going to start to make a change no matter how hard it is to start with. Mm. I absolutely love this question. Mm. So what I would like to start with is we all have excuses and I always like to challenge my woman and say, is that true or is that a limiting belief that is stopping you from leaving your fullest potential right now?

Right. And it's a good question to reflect on, like, is it really true? And I like to say that we all have a certain. A part of our life left, right? Mm-hmm. We all had to go being, we all have to go through whatever it is, the challenges and traumas and, you know, hardships to get where we are right now. We all have those and that's why we are a miracle and we are unique and there is no one nails in this [00:30:00] entire universe like you or me.

Yeah. So we have been through specific challenges. However, we all have a, a. A few chapters left in this lifetime. Mm. And that's how I, I always like to bring my woman into this place of power. It's like, all right, if you get to be a altar, if you, if you get to be a writer of your own chapters, like what does it look like?

What do you wanna write on? Yeah. How do you wanna live that to be a legacy for your future generations, your children, grandchildren, whoever it is to read that and say, wow, she made a dif a difference. Right. It might be a difference in your marriage. It might be a difference in the world. It might be a difference in your community.

It doesn't matter what difference is. It matters that we are actually intentionally making that. Mm. So I like to say. You know, the first step is having courage over fear. We all have fear because, you know, yes, I can, failing, I can have a fear of failing is a, is a massive one that I work with women [00:31:00] and I can fail by doing the thing that I don't like.

But imagine if I failed doing the thing that I actually love. Yes. What's left? Yes. Yeah. And. The thing is, I don't believe that it's failing at all. I think everything's a feedback, right. Wow, that didn't work. Great. Let's pivot and let's keep going. So, um, I feel that that's a big one, is moving through fear and stepping into courage.

Right? We all have fear. I, for me to get where I am today. For me to be on this podcast talking to you, I cannot even start. To talk to you about how many speaker trainings I had to do, how many, you know, years of studying English I had to do to go from not speaking to be able to share my story today.

Mm-hmm. So that's why I love speaking is to give everyone a permission that it's never too late. You know, it doesn't matter the career that you have behind you. If you have a dream and a passion, there's always a bit a starting point. And I say to, I was doing a [00:32:00] talk yesterday. And I was telling everybody that, uh, when I got here, I didn't have a following.

I didn't even have a friend in this country. Mm-hmm. I didn't speak a word. So I literally start from scratch. From the right. From the scratch. From the scratch. Wow. And I built a community. By now, I have created a huge movement of women where I have facilitated for the past two years, 10 events where I had.

Nearly 600 women just in this event, which is called Empower Her, uh, we have, you know, went to different cities and different states in Australia, and nearly 600 women have, have walked through my doors and have fully transformed their, their lives. You know, uh, they left. Years of corporate jobs, they have transformed, uh, their marriage.

They, uh, open up businesses, partnership, friendships, like so much has been created in those rooms. And, you know, I didn't have that. I didn't have the community. I [00:33:00] started with one action. Mm. So whatever that that is for whoever's listening, I invite you to reflect what is one action that you can take right now?

It can be. You know, super tiny. Mm. And you just do that. And you know from that you do another one. And I call this stretching your capacity for more. The more that you do that, you know, you, you can do the next thing and the next thing. And that is self-leadership that is leading you to taking these actions to build your capacity for more, to holding more, to be more, and to create bigger impact.

I love that because a lot of people believe that. Unless I can make this massive great big jump Yes. Then it's not gonna work. Mm-hmm. Whereas what you just said is just, what's one little thing that you can do? And it doesn't matter how small it is, what's one little thing, because that way, whatever else is going on in life, [00:34:00] you are moving yourself forward.

You are moving the needle forward. Exactly. In the minute way. There's the old thing. How do you eat an elephant? Exactly. Yeah. Beast. I've never tried myself, but apparently it can't be done. Yes. But it is just that one little thing moving forward and moving forward. Yeah. Um, that, that you, you put in place there.

And I think that's such a critical thing. I want to, I wasn't gonna go here because of where we are going, but I, I really feel like some people will be missing a little bit of who you are. Without going back to part of your story. Mm. Like some of the, the hardest thing, hardest parts for you. Like you've told us some really big stuff, but back when you were in Brazil, and I think this is just gonna be critical for, to seal in some people that, 'cause I'll be going, but she hasn't dealt with this or she hasn't.

It wasn't quite like [00:35:00] that. Tell us back when you, uh, in Brazil. And your family where you were started to fall to, to pieces. Yes. Yes. That's a great story. Um, yeah, so I, I was back home in Brazil and. You know, I had a really solid family until I was about 21. And my father, um, you know, we found out that he was cheating on my mother with her friend, with, you know, someone that was close to our family.

So it was a massive, traumatic, extremely painful experience for all of us. And my mom completely broke into pieces because she was, you know, uh. She was the woman that did everything in the house, right? She ran the play. She was happy doing that. That was her role, being a a woman, supporting the family, and we are all.

Trying to understand what was happening. Uh, I [00:36:00] was 21. I was living, you know, doing university and that was a, a very big moment where I starting, you know, I was partying a lot and starting to use a lot of drugs, a lot of alcohol, just to cope with everything else. And really, if I'm honest, to escape the what was happening for myself.

I felt so responsible at the time for my family because I was the only woman. And you know, I was, uh, mediating a lot between my father and my mother because she had no capacity. She was completely gone, you know, in bed. And I also felt very angry with him because I didn't felt that was my place to hold that together because I was 21.

It was his choice to marry when he was 23 or 20. Uh, I think he married at 21. And, you know, that was not my response, my responsibility to take. Mm-hmm. So I went even deeper into partying and doing all the things. Until this day I remember I was, you know, in an after party. After the party, we had an after party.[00:37:00]

Uh, and you know, and for as long as I could go, I would just, I would be there. And this time someone, um. You know, came and put something in my mouth and I didn't know what it, what it was until I started to trip out and it was a LSD and you know, we don, it was a friend of mine, she thought I wanted, but she didn't ask me for permission.

Mm-hmm. So all of a sudden I was starting, I was tripping out and I started to really go into this really dark place. And I got my car. I just, I just left, you know, no one knew where I was, where I, where I went. I took my, got my car, I started driving and I was. Uh, so crazy. I, I remember driving and I felt like I was in this movie, so I had no idea where I was driving to.

I had no idea what directions Kyle should go or, or come. I was fully tripping out and I got into, uh, the main, the main highway, right? The highway. Crazy. It's literally crazy to drive in Brazil. Mm-hmm. [00:38:00] So I was there and this voice just told me, park the car. So I parked the car. On the side of the road. And I started to cry and cry and cry.

And I was in this, um, you know, child position inside of my car. It was raining outside and pouring raining, and I was inside of the car and I could see the whole movie of my life. I found myself inside of my mom mother's womb again. And it was like I was now the stand, like having a full ayahuasca journey in my car by myself.

Didn't know what was happening. Um. And in that time, you know this, this voice spoke to me, which I believe it was divine. You know, just telling me you gotta stop, you gotta go back home, you gotta be with your mother. And that time, um. A woman knock it in my window and she's, she say, Hey, I saw you here all day.

It's getting dark now. Here is a very dangerous place for you to be by yourself. Um, and I [00:39:00] just opened the window and I, I started to cry and she said, do you want me to come in? And I'm like, yes, please come in. And she offered me to hug me. And I, I said, yes, please. And then she said, I'm here working. I'm a, you know, I'm a.

I work on the street like she was a prostitute. She was working with the truck, uh, truck drivers and she started telling her story to me and you know, and it was. You know, she was, uh, ran away from her ex-husband. Her little daughters were home, um, because she had to work, uh, and I was just crying. I was so grateful for her to be there with me.

And, um, and then I started to feel better. So I drove her home to her place. And after that I went back to my house. I, and then I went back home to my mom, to my, you know, to my, my house, my home, and. I, you know, I got home to my mother and I cried and I stayed with her In that moment. I stop actually, you know, stopped [00:40:00] taking, um, anything.

And it was, you know, in that moment until this point, I asked, I knew that. I, I, you know, everything that I did, it was a reason that I, that I wa I'm not, I wouldn't be here today, you know, if I drove a little bit further, if I, yeah. Do you know what I mean? I, there was, you've been looked after. I've been looked after and in that moment I'm like, wow, if I didn't die in that moment, I know that I'm here for, for something else.

Absolutely. Yeah. I know that. You know, and there are, there, we all have these moments in our life. Yeah. This is not a story that I share very often at all. Um, but I feel that we all have those moments where we're like, wow, if I didn't die, if, if this didn't happen to me, now it's because there is a greater calling in here for me, and I don't know what that is.

So, yeah, that I, I wanted you to tell that story because I think there's so many people who they've experienced [00:41:00] things. And they know they're supposed to be here, but they don't know why. Yes. Or they've been through life and they question why. Why did I go through that? Why am I still alive? But every single one of us is here for a reason.

Mm-hmm. And for a purpose. And we are called here. I believe every one of us has created for a reason here, and we're all here to make the world a better place to input into other people's lives what we've learned, how we've grown, who we are, and make a difference in people's lives. And I love your story.

Because there was so many times where you could have given up. Mm-hmm. Where you could have stopped, but you didn't, and you've taken [00:42:00] that and now you are out helping hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of other people. But it's not just those people. It's the individual that then goes back to their family, that then goes to their business, that then goes to create their legacy That then goes.

Yes. Ongoing. Mm. And I love that. Mm. And I think if people catch it, that

it's not just a certain few mm. But everybody Mm. Is here for that reason. Yes. Mm.

Yes, I believe that. Thank you. Really filling my heart, receiving your words. I, I believe that we are all, and I hope it's okay to get, you know, we're spiritually here [00:43:00] because, yeah. It's being literally, um, the guiding force in my life and I believe that we are all here because we are made. Of, you know, divine force of divine light.

We are all here for a reason. Yeah. And I know that I have, you know, my clients who I love, absolutely love, they have been through so much, same as I, you know, some things that you'd say, wow, how did you make it here? Mm-hmm. You know, and it breaks my heart to know that. Humans go through that, it's, it's terrifying.

But you know what, they are the most incredible women that I see. Yeah. They are so strong and so powerful. And I had women that for the first time came into my stages and share their stories and they now they're out sharing front of thousands of people. These stories, you know, stories from my client that lost, you know, their children where they're 10 years [00:44:00] old and I'm like, I can never imagine what you've been through because.

I don't know if that would not break me. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. But I know that we go through because that it is what we can hold. Yeah. And I don't know what you know, you being through or the listeners being through, but I know that God gave you whatever you can hold and whatever you can hold.

It is what you're here to share with the world. And it doesn't matter if it is the conversation that you have with someone in the chemist or in the supermarket or if someone on the street or if your children or with your partner. That is impact. That is change, you know? Yes. And people think the impact that, oh, I'm gonna create a change.

I wanna, it's gotta be big. It's gotta be massive. It does not. It starts with you, with yourself, with your children, with your family. It starts small and it grows from that because it starts, it's, it's within. Yeah. You know, it's when I'm able to see myself as divine creator, as divine light. And I know for a fact that [00:45:00] everything that I've been true is a reason and I'm able, and I take ownership of my story.

Mm. And I say my story and I'm gonna share my story because if I share, you gonna share yours. Yeah. And every one of us has a story that can impact other people. And, and like you just said, it's just. You can help somebody else. Where wherever it is, it's out on the street. Yes. It's a supermarket, whatever it is.

Just a little bit of kindness. A little positive word. Yes. A little listening to somebody. And sometimes that goes into your full, you know, I, I, I know people that started with, um, you know, acts of kindness and they went on, I'm just gonna record this and then put on Instagram. And that became, you know, such a movement of like, you know, millions of followers.

Yeah. I had people who started by. You know, I'm gonna do this campaign to, you know, help the homeless people. And then now they're, you know, the director of this, you know, foundation [00:46:00] that, you know, employs like so many people. And it starts with you following your light, your heart. Yes, yes. And whatever that's gonna take.

I don't know. I never knew that I was going to be here. I never knew that I was going to be leading this movement of women. I, I never knew that, you know, it was just by me. Following my heart and doing what was best for me, you know, for, you know, walking the, the, the light, you know, of the creator and, you know, and just doing what's, what's right, what's in integrity with my, my soul, with myself.

Yeah. And it's just starting. It's just starting. Just start. Just something, anything. Yeah. Do a, do a podcast. Do a Just be nice to somebody. Course. Go and buy a coffee. Do it. Does it? Yeah, do a post. Do do a live. Anything. Yeah, anything. Yeah. Just text someone in the morning and go. Hey, just hope you have a great day today.

Yes. Just thinking of you. Yeah. Simple. You know, something. Yesterday I was on a leadership training I just shared with you before, and I love being a student. And one of the things [00:47:00] that we had was, um, you know, going on the street and giving love notes, like affirmation notes. And we had hundreds and we, that was a task for our team, create an impact, positive impact in the world.

And we are writing Surface Paradise. And, you know, and I wrote the most beautiful notes and it was so special and I. Got reminded in the moment. I'm like, wow, this is so simple. But you saw people tearing up when they received their, their notes and they were like, man, I really needed this today. Thank you so much.

You know, and like it's always available to us. You know, you write a, you know, notes and you just go out and just giving to people, and I know if I received that, I would be so happy. Right. Just like, Hey, you are special. Like, just keep going. Yeah. You know, it's, it's amazing and it's simple. It's interesting, you know, because people talk about how dark the world is and how hard it is and every, and no one's denying that.

But the good news about that is that just the darker the room, the smallest little candle can [00:48:00] light up that whole room. Yes. It doesn't need to be a big, bright light. Yes. Just one little candle can write light up a whole dark room. Yeah. And that's the thing, just like those notes you just said, oh, I got goose bums.

Yeah. Yeah. Just doing that makes a difference. Yeah. Yeah. And, and then you think about, and obviously you didn't get to, um, helping hundreds of women just by one day. It's like, I've gotta make a difference because I'm not happy. Well, now look at me. I'm helping hundreds of women. All of a sudden. It doesn't just happen like that.

How did you start making a difference? Mm. I started as I shared before, first with myself. Mm-hmm. And then by, you know, uh, seeing the result in my own life, I'm like, wow, this is so powerful. I wanna learn more. And I'm a very curious person, you know, as I say, I love of being a student, so I'm like, all right, lemme learn this and that and this.

So I learn all these different modalities. Until I, um, I say this is really powerful and [00:49:00] I think one secret that I'm gonna share here is you must be open to receive the signs that are presented to you because the creator, God, the Spirit universe, however you wanna call it, we'll always be sending you signs.

Of your path whate, either if it is in alignment or it if it's not. Mm-hmm. So I started to receive those signs, you know, let's say friends coming, sharing with me. Wow. I've been through the same journey. Or, or the friends say. Would you facilitate a small, you know, um, sound healing for us? And I'm like, ah, sure.

So it, it is about you saying yes when those signs are presented to you. Mm. It's small yeses. So I, you know, three, four friends that we got together and I facilitated a sound healing. I was just learning, I just recently bought my, my crystal balls and from that, you know, we started to grow a little bit more and a little bit more.

And eventually I was doing women's circle and I was, every time I was so afraid. [00:50:00] Until now, I have spoke in front of, you know, thousand people, audience. Yeah. And I'm always afraid to walk in on the stage still to this day. Mm-hmm. And I'm not sure when that's gonna change, but I'm willing to say yes and just do it.

Right. So you gotta be willing. I love that. Yeah. You're always scared, but you still do it always until now, and I always share that. Yeah. I'm like, I'm, I'm, I'm here. You know? And I still feel the nervousness inside of myself because that creates like we are all together in this. Yes, yes. Yeah. But you're willing to do it.

Yeah. Willing to take a risk. And I know I've been on a few stages as well, and every time you go up, you have the biggest chance to make a fool of yourself. Yeah. So true, but it's like so true. But you've got that opportunity to make a massive impact on people. Or you can be selfish and go, oh, what about me and my pride?

There's, there's a couple of options we got there. I don't particularly like the second one. The second one's much more comfortable, [00:51:00] so much more, much easier. Mm. But it's probably not the best option. Yeah. I feel that, you know, when you change the focusing about yourself. You know, this is about me. It's about me staying comfortable.

It's about me. You know, whatever stories you have going on, there's so many of them. And when you say, this is not about me, it's about them. It's about me being service and trust that I'm here to create an impact. And if there this opportunity came my way. I'm gonna honor that and I'm gonna say yes. Mm-hmm.

And then you go into that and you're like, you know, and I, of course I'm getting nervous because I'm making about me in this moment. I'm like, what if I fail here? What if I forget? What if something goes wrong? However, when I, I ground myself and I make, well, this is about them. It's about what they're gonna receive.

It's about me sharing my story. Because I know there is someone in here today that will listen to this podcast. Yeah. And they will have their life transformed. Yeah, exactly. And that's what it's all about. [00:52:00] Yeah. That's why we do all this stuff for that to happen. Yeah. I, I got an interesting story. It happened just recently.

I've got this massive project that I'm working on or wanted to do it for years, and I'm like, I need to make this happen. And, um, I just met this guy a few weeks ago who happens to be in the industry that I'm wanting to, to do this of, and I'm like, I'm just gonna ask him a quick little question. I asked him a quick little question.

20 minutes later, um, he gives me all this stuff. I went and over the weekend put together a whole ton of stuff and outline what needs to happen, how it needs to work, how to get, start getting things moving, and all of that sort of stuff. I'm just by going, okay, I'm gonna say yes like you just did. And it's interesting how God lines up all the little chess pieces in the right direction to make things happen when it's what we're supposed to be doing.

And half the time we don't know if we're supposed to be doing it or not. So it's like, well, [00:53:00] I won't do it just in case. No, just give it a shot just in case, because you dunno where it could go. I love that. I feel that if we have the calling, if we have the desire, that's God sent, yes, you receive the desire because.

God gave that to you. Yes. So you have a desire there, and it is up to you to say yes to that. So you receive the desire. I can ask him a question or I desire to ask him a question. You could say, oh, no. Later, I'll do another time. But you say, no, I'm gonna do it. And that can change completely the direction of your life or your business.

Yeah. Or I don't know where you're going, but you know, it can, it can be a completely pivoting moment for you. Exactly. I'm so excited. Yeah. Which is really cool. Mariana, this has been amazing. I've so love. I knew it was gonna be good. I just knew it. Um, thank you for coming on to the Tomorrow's Not Today podcast.

I do need to ask a question at the end, which I always do. How do you create the life you [00:54:00] want and leave a legacy that you're proud of? Mm, amazing. How do they create a life you want? I feel that creating a life, this is what, what I say, I teach a woman how to create a life that feels as good as it looks, and I, oh, I like that.

Yeah. And I feel that the secret for that is knowing who you are, being your authentic self. So start to be honest with yourself. Started to ask yourself the right questions. You started to see the signs of what's not working and what's being presented to you. Just become, uh, um, you know, uh, a watch. A watch, seeing your, seeing the signs in, in your own life.

Mm. Yeah. And the second question, leave a legacy that you're proud of. How do you do that? Oh, with intention? Yeah. I feel everything comes with intention. So, uh, I always say that you. [00:55:00] Always creating an impact. Everybody's a leader either you want or not. Um, there is a research done that even the most introverted person, the one that plays video game behind the screen all day completely introverted, is still a longer, its lifetime will impact around 17,000 people.

Really? Yeah. You know, by, just by the interactions. Wow. So I wanna say that. You are a leader. I'm a leader. Everybody else listening to this, they are leading in a way or another. Mm-hmm. But your intention to lead how you want to lead and what you wanna say, how you wanna act, the energy that you wanna bring to the world is up to you.

Mm-hmm. That's awesome. I love it. Yeah, absolutely. Love that. How can people get in touch with you, follow you, maybe do some of your, one of your trainings, something like that? Yes. So we are in transition now. I'm about to launch a new incredible one day experience for women. I also have a, um, a two day [00:56:00] experience, uh, coding magnetic woman.

But the best way to find everything that I do is my, on my Instagram. Mm-hmm. Mariana Leonard. And I have everything there. What's coming next? And you, I would love to have anyone that is interested in this work and step into leadership and become, yeah, a powerhouse in the world. Perfect. And any woman needs to, you know, go through just to do that.

It doesn't matter who you are, where you are. Exactly. We definitely gonna gain a lot from you. I know you've got so much more that we obviously we couldn't cover today. Uh, obviously you didn't go into all your training and things like that, but I love how you're helping people and inspiring so many people as well.

Mm-hmm. Which is awesome. Thank you sofa. Oh my pleasure so much for coming onto the podcast. Yeah, it's been amazing. I really appreciate it. Yeah, thank you. I cannot wait to be back, so thanks for having me this time. Yes, thanks Mariana.